photo by Moyo Oyelola.
It’s been 6 months since I graduated from college. Where the entire HELL did the time go? I feel like the nappy headed Rip Van Winkel. That’s the guy who fell asleep for a long time, right? Yeah. I feel like him.
It’s 1am. I’m sitting on the couch with my Coolio braids up and Hey Arnold is on. Parental units have just retired to their lair for the night. I really can’t take another 4am bedtime. My body was so useless today, more than usual, and it was embarrassing. It feels like the calm before the storm, like I’m moving in slow motion now because in 10-ish days, I’ll be reporting, writing, editing, logging, transferring, getting edited, corrected, rejected, and sweating bullets while doing it. Shout out to Phoenix.
To recap: I graduated college a semester early and didn’t know what the hell to do with myself, so I moved back home and my parents didn’t seem to mind at all. I think they’re pretty groovy too, so no qualms here.
Did college-Evelyn envision herself living at home after college? Well…college-Evelyn didn’t envision herself after college. Period. I live in the moment to a fault. I rarely plan for or even entertain the thought of the future becoming the present. In a hurried attempt to stay in Austin after graduation, I actually landed a pretty cool job teaching film/creative writing to the chirrens at an after-school program. It was part time though, and I needed way more monies than that if I was going to live in Austin. Applying for the job KNOWING it was logistically a bad move + not what I wanted to do with my life right now was my way of proving to myself that I could do this whole “get a job” thing if I wanted. I had no intention of thrusting myself into the real whurrrrl but hey look I’m not completely useless, y’all!
After that, I half-assed a couple job applications. Reporting gig in Brooklyn. Editorial assistant in Austin. Online reporter in Houston. Some others here and there. Interestingly enough, I never got rejected outright — I just never got contacted at ALL after submitting those applications. Not even a “thank you for submitting your resume”. Nothing. It was eerie. After I jokingly screamed “DASSSS RACIST!!”, I realized it was a sign. Whatever it was that I was trying to do, whoever I was trying to be, it wasn’t meant to happen just yet. So I calmed it down.
And thanks to the provision of my parents, there was never really a sense of urgency for livelihood’s sake. I don’t really think struggling for struggling’s sake is cool anyway. It’s kinda like thrift shopping: just one of those things I feel like immigrant parents just aint into. They don’t tolerate anything that reminds them of hard times, especially for their children. So I just do my part around the house, try not to catch an attitude, and they do things like feed me
and read me bedtime stories.
So what HAVE I been doing?
- various things like such as for Ngozi Odita of Society HAE. Special Projects Manager is what’s going on the gotdamn resume. holla if you hear me! #teamembellishment
- I have another gig that ima keep on the low until some big thangs start poppin’.
- I just snagged a paid blogging opp and I’ll keep that on the low too until I’m ready.
- planning interviews for this blog and never going through with them. I’m behind about 5 interviews. my bad y’all.
- I’ve been watching hours upon hours of different news outlets’ video content to see what works and what doesn’t, as far as online journalism goes. F*CK THE NEW YORK TIMES’ SUBSCRIPTION WALL! erasing the url past “.html” doesn’t work every time…
- Favoriting DSLR tutorials on Youtube. Shout out to 24 fps = your video looks like a film. Das real cool.
- Pinning recipes on Pinterest that I’ll never actually cook.
- Taking walks with my mom.
- Going on late night Whataburger runs with my brother.
- annoying dad on purpose during tax season by not keeping records of ANY income i made.
- watching Real Housewives of pretty much everywhere.
- I JUICE! SO MUCH FRESH JUICE! JUIIIIIIICE WTF IS JUICE YOU ASK? JUICE. YOUR BODY LOVES IT. MMMM VITAMINS AND REAL LIFE IN YOUR BODY
- Tumblr. Lots and lots of Tumblr.
I don’t really know what I feel. I’m ready to put in the work. I’m bored. My bank account is looking sickly because I shop when I’m bored. I’m tired for no reason. My social life went from a thousand trillion *yeezy autotune voice* to non-existent like that *snaps*, and I don’t know why I’m okay with that.
I’m pretty much underwhelmed by my existence right now. NOT SAD. Underwhelmed. Like if my life was a movie, I’d stand up and give myself the sarcastic slow clap.
So this is where I’m at right now. Another day has come and gone, and I don’t really have much to show for it. goodnight